The Importance of Community

In this episode of This Fat Girl Life podcast, I am joined by the Queen herself, Miss Jenni Leigh to discuss the importance of community! Jenni Leigh is the founder of the Queens Only Club on Facebook. We got to chat about what brought her to start the club, what the club means to her, and the impact made.

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Transcript

 INTRO: Welcome to this fat girl life, a podcast about self-worth, loving yourself, and body image.

Hi guys, I’m Kim your host, and welcome to this fat girl life. Tonight, I am joined by none other than the queen herself miss Jenny Lee. So, I’m going to bring her on the screen real quick and everybody can see the beauty that is Jenny Lee, welcome!

Hi thank you for having me!

Of course, so Jenny why don’t you take a moment and tell everybody about yourself.

Okay, so, my name is Jenny, Jenny Lee is a lot of people on Facebook and social media know me and about a month ago I started the group the queens only club so, it’s a women empowerment group. Yeah, it has grown rapidly over the last month.

So, what encouraged you to start this group, why did you start it?

Well, it actually, it started on just a total random. I was getting ready to give up on social media altogether just because I did not want, I was tired of the constant negativity that was filling up my news feed so I decided that you know I was getting ready to just sign off all together because I just I couldn’t take it anymore. It was affecting me just my mental health, it was affecting my everything about me. I found that I was just a very miserable person and I honestly hated to be around myself so the day before I was getting ready to just completely sign out altogether, I decided, you know what if I can try to change the algorithm on my newsfeed because I really didn’t want to let it go. Because I you know I’ve been on Facebook and Instagram for over 10 years and like a lot of people it just my whole life was on there and I didn’t want to let that go because it’s how I keep in touch with friends, it’s how I keep in touch with family and a lot of my photos are on there and I just said you know what the heck with that I’m going to try to change the world so I started this group and I didn’t really know what the purpose of this group was going to be I just started this page and through another group, I met several women and I just said hey I’m going to start this page for all of us just queens only and I figured okay well one night it just hit me it was like two or three days in, it hit me that I need to do something that’s going to be different that’s going to set this group apart from everything else, and if this is a women’s club and its private, I want to make it and create the safe space for women and figured you know if I just called it the queens you know, the queen’s only club I didn’t really know why I called it that I just it was just kind of like the first thing that came to me. So, I started ordering crowns for my just people in my you know immediate family, and then one of the girls in our group, Tiana had just commented or made a post one night that she was just having a really rough week so I just messaged her and said Hey girl what’s your home address? And I’m going to send you a little something. So unbeknownst to her, I hop on Amazon and I shipped her a crown and two days later I get that delivery notification and I was so excited and I really didn’t know her at all, like we had you know, talked a couple of times but I really didn’t know her but I just knew that she was having a rough time that week with a lot of what she was going through personally and as soon as she got her crown she just started crying and but it made me feel good to know that I could change her whole you know the trajectory of where her week was going and how bad it was. So from that point I had more and more women you know inviting themselves into the group or you know asked or their friends were inviting them into the group and it started growing so it got to the point where I was then like sending out crowns randomly here and there, and then I formed this post and said hey you know maybe what I’ll do is I’ll start every week I’ll choose a couple women at random and I’ll start sending crowns out so for like the first week or so I’d probably send out like 20 or 30 crowns myself.

Oh wow

Yeah, and as, it grew everybody was like well I really want to submit my name but I don’t want you to have to take on the burden of it, if you can figure out a way to make this work, then let me help you or let me send you money and I said Well I don’t want to take your, I don’t want to take anybody’s money but let’s do this.  So from that point that’s when I was like okay, so I thought on it for like two or three days, oh my God you know like this is not what I this is not what I wanted was for anybody to feel obligated like they had to spend their money on it or you know contribute financially because this was something I wanted to do but I started the passing the crown program and in the last month we’ve, we have had over 2,500 women email and we have passed the crown today over 600 times in the last three weeks. So, there are women that have been crowned just with this movement and they are its incredible. Our Facebook feed is just it’s amazing just the love and the support and the whole purpose of it, yes, you’re getting a crown but this the symbolism and the significance of having the crown is to show you that regardless of where you are and your path in life, that you are worth it. You do have a purpose and we as women do so much for everybody else that we never take care of ourselves

Right

So even if it’s just that one piece that we can you know put on our head and it makes us feel amazing regardless of what the people in our house you know how they think we might be crazy vacuuming in our crowns or the other day I was watching TV and Larry my boyfriend walked in and he’s like so this is what we’re doing? I said this is what we’re doing and this is just me and this is, I’m going to sit here and watch TV in my crown because I can and it’s just like it makes you feel good. It just makes you feel so good you know, so the stories that are coming out and just the support that all these women are getting from each other it’s so empowering. It is so incredibly empowering

Oh, I completely love every time I get a notification from the group of somebody posted this, I’m like okay I’ve got to go see it. You know notifications that I ignore you know from other groups but this group every time there’s a notification I have to go immediately and look at it.

Girl it is addictive it is like, isn’t it?

Well, it’s a good addiction I mean you and I were just talking about like my past and there have been you know addiction issues and I’m actually we’ve got comments coming in so I am putting those on the bottom I hope you see them.

Oh, good yes! That’s actually my mom, hi mom!

Oh, hi mom!

Hey mom! Whenever you want a supporter right there, she’s watching me

There you go, she’s the queen that raised the queen

Thats right she’s a recruitment queen

But I am finding myself more and more drawn to it and I found the whole group from tiktok

Yeah

So, tell me about how you decided to put it over onto tiktok

Okay so I start this group January 29th and what was it, I guess like almost two weeks ago one of my girlfriends I was talking to and she was like you know what you should really try you should really get on tiktok and I was like I’m not getting on tiktok like I’m just I don’t know how to tiktok you know, but I said okay fine I’ll give it a go and so a week and a half ago I started tiktok and I just felt like if I’m going to, if I’m going to go and I’m going to like branch out from Facebook and start incorporating this I don’t want to just go on and do dances you know. I want to try to capture those women who have who have this lack of need and this lack of space where they just. We all have a story and we don’t have anywhere to share it or feel like we’re supported you know so I felt like if I could go on and by myself and be raw and real and transparent with everybody regardless of what I’ve been through or anybody’s been through then I’m just going to go and I’m going to go for it. So, I started creating videos and started promoting the pass the crown movement really because I feel like it is so important that we all deserve we all deserve this. So, it’s starting performing tiktok was the complete win and within a week and a half there’s nearly 6,000 followers just on tiktok and it is growing by the minute literally every time I go to check my phone, I’ve got over 100 more notifications of just women asking how they can be a part of it because they just have no they have nowhere else to go where they can feel this and like the thing about it is where else can you go be around a bunch of women where’s there no drama

And that’s what I love the most is there is no drama

I won’t, I don’t put up with it. I do not I mean you’ll see a little bit of here and there and it, I have an amazing team of moderators who, this would not run and this could not continue if I didn’t have these women in my tribe like Georgia said in my circle like I really, I couldn’t do it without them.

Well, I think one thing that you guys have started is the mental health Monday

Yes

So, what brought that on?

So, you know everybody struggles with mental health and especially over the last year with covid and everything it’s like I really feel like a lot of that has come to light with a lot of people but there’s a stigma around mental health right like no one wants to talk about it so nobody talks about it but nobody wants to reach out and help and there’s really no place to go to talk about it. You know a lot of people are either embarrassed or they don’t have the financial means to go just to talk to a therapist or to vent or whatever the case may be, so Tianna and Andrea actually have said you know what, there’s a lot of women who could really benefit from this so I have just completely allowed them to take this and run with it and last Monday was our first mental health, you know our first mental health Monday and it was, we do a zoom call every Monday now and its scheduled out so every week it’s just really like a wellness check in with everybody. Even if you’re have a great week you can tune in you can dial in on ours we’ve got a zoom line that is the same every single week its every Monday at the same time and that’s posted on our page but you can just check in and or you can go in and you can talk and you can talk about your week or the things that you’re struggling with because you know what like if you’re going through it, someone else is going through it too or someone else has gone through it and I don’t know about you but for me I just feel like I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to hear advice from someone if they’ve not gone through what I’m going through. You know

100%

Yeah so, I just really feel like that’s the best place for people to just be able to go and talk about the things that are bothering them. So, I want to say last week there were over 20 girls that were on this call and for the first time I mean that’s pretty big considering its a zoom call and you know we’re all on camera and it’s a big deal so it’s really cool.

Well, I am going to make an offer to you, you are under no obligation to accept it

Okay!

As part of my life coaching course, I do a free course. I do intro to coaching it’s called the letters to myself project. Where you write a letter to myself each day for 5 days. I would love to volunteer that service to the group if you are interested, like I said you are under no obligation don’t feel like you’re on the spot

Yeah

If you want to check it out, I’ll send you the link

Please do

And if you want me to do it for the group, I would love to do it.

I would please, do let’s continue that conversation let’s look to do that because I just feel like I’m all about helping women and encouraging women obviously mean look at what’s been created in just a month you know period of time and in any way that we can loom to help each other and support each other and grow and become the best versions of ourself I am all about the girl power behind it so yes.

Well and that what you just said really kind of leads into the next topic of the importance of having that community of women that are supporting women, and I think men need the same thing, there needs to be a community of men supporting men because men know how to best support each other.

Right

They didn’t know how to best support each other we understand the needs of another woman when it comes to that mental, that emotional you know, I love my husband dearly he doesn’t get it he doesn’t always understand.

No

I think we all have that. So that’s part of what I love so much about this group is there’s just so much support

Yeah

And is that what you were going for when you first started it?

I didn’t know what I was going for when I first started it. Honestly I started it because I met a group of girls in one page and I knew I had a feeling that that page was getting ready to shut down but I felt so connected to these women that I wanted to be able to keep in touch with them but as it just kind of grew it just it went that direction and now even though it’s only about a month like I can’t imagine this movement and this purpose and this empowerment like this is the happiest I’ve been in I can’t remember. I have not had a bad day in the last month and I cry happy tears because it’s like, I’m so grateful because you know, it’s like you know, you have your family right but then you it’s funny because it’s like you bond these women who you don’t even know but it’s like you feel like they’re your lifelong sisters because they just get it right?! Like where have you been all my life that’s kind of how I feel!

Joy, we are apparently one of the same, yes green Bay packers.

Yes! Yes!

I love you Joy!

I know yes!

So, is there something I mean obviously right now you have the one group, is this something that like you would see later on in the future like developing chapters for each state or?

So, I’ve thought about it and that has been a question but my thing is, you know I’ve the way that this group is growing is growing together and I want to stay together. So, I feel like chapters eventually yeah maybe kind of like a sorority, you know where we all have a common, we all serve the same purpose so we all we know exactly what the intention of this group is. So, it’s something that I’ve thought about but I just I’m. I feel like it’s so new that even though it’s grown so much we do have a non-profit that’s coming up. I’m in the process of working with you know, forming this non-profit and seeing where that goes so, I really just want to give back and help women and in order to do that we’ll have like merchandise and things like that that’ll you know, when that’ll help fund the non-profit so that way when you know our sister need help, we’ll be able to provide support

I love that. I love that. I hope you are seeing the comments that I’m posting on the bottom of the screen.

Yeah

These women adore you, there’s so much love in here

I know, it is insane, like it just, I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve all these women but I know it’s not just me, I mean yes, I know I started the page and I found it there or whatever you want to call it but it really just it’s not all me. It’s all of you guys like I, this would not be here if it wasn’t for everybody. You know, and you included like it just every single person who’s here is just making y’all are the reason of what keeps this going so.

Well, I feel so blessed that I even because I found you like I said on tiktok.

I’m so excited I never!

Randomly came on my feed for you page, I really wasn’t looking for anything I just you know, I lay in bed at night and just scroll through my tiktok and there you were. I was like what the heck she’s wearing a tiara and I had to like, I had to know why and then I saw like I went to your bio and it had the Facebook page I was like oh I got to check this out you know and it just it is that pretty much like what happens normally?

Yeah, yeah, I mean, it’s this page is 100% organic its organically grown i have not paid a dollar for any advertising I haven’t had time to. Like it has literally grown so fast and so big to the point where I haven’t had time and I refuse to pay for advertising because I don’t want to have to pay for someone to be here. I want people to be here that want to be here.

I understand that.

It means so if you aren’t coming based off of wanting to be a part of the movement and part of the group and the sisterhood because that’s really what it is like it’s a secret sisterhood it’s like a society thing you know?

It’s a secret society that I get to be a part of

You are, you’re in it girl

I love that

It’s our girl club, you know, it’s where we can come and we can be ourselves and we know that we’re not going to be judged and we don’t have the bs drama to deal with so you can juggle you can just be yourself.

Exactly

And you know no matter what like we are going to support 100%

Well, I freely admit you know I have people that look at me and they’re like there’s a way you could be professional with tattoos on your chest

Oh my gosh yes

And then last night there was the thread of what did your tattoos look like and I had those three different pictures to show online

Yes, I saw that yeah! I love it! You know we are all so different but that’s what makes us beautiful and like that’s what makes us who we are and it’s not and this is so cliche but like beauty really is what’s inside like you’re the most beautiful person if you’re beautiful inside it doesn’t matter what you look like, like you are only as good as what’s in here so it’s amazing because everybody is just so cool. So supportive and so loving

I love that and I actually found a quote today that I am putting on my Facebook page later on the week about how loving yourself is like the biggest middle finger that you can give the world.

Yeah

I was like I have to use that. You know, but that’s what this group is about. It’s about loving yourself

Learning to love yourself. Yeah, building that confidence and finding your work and knowing that no matter what, you’ve got the support you have 5,000 new sisters at this point like no matter what you’ve got a crew, you’ve got a whole tribe standing behind you and it’s like it’s the best feeling ever because you could feel so alone in your life and then you come into this outlet and you’re just like oh my God, they get it. They get it, they get me, like I feel like I belong, and it’s because you do, you know if you didn’t belong you know, we wouldn’t keep you there because we’ve had to remove a lot of people and rightfully so because I just I’m very particular on who I want in there and there’s if you are not fitting that mold you don’t get to stay because it’s we all have to come together

I’ve noticed you are very protective of your girls

Very protective, like I’ve got ya’ll’s back yes. Well because I preach at the same space and I strive to do that whether people agree with it or not, if you don’t agree with it, I don’t really care, go start your own group but like this is my group I’m it’s like I’m I feel like a momma and I’m like taking care of all my babies because if I’m preaching it’s a safe spot you need to be able to trust that with this many people it’s going to be safe. So, I am very very protective of this place.

I saw that.

And I’m glad that you see that.

Well, you do all of this on top of working a full-time job how do you find the time?

You know I’ve had to learn how to, I’ve just had to learn how to manage my time really. I don’t sleep a whole lot. My mind is constantly running I struggle with adhd I always have my whole life so my mind is just constantly running with ideas and just different things but this i find the time because I want to make this work so I dedicate you know obviously I have my job I’m in outside sales I’m a territory manager I cover two states I’m over north Carolina yeah and Tennessee I have over 700 customers between my two states and then I also have my between Facebook and tiktok my almost 12-11 , 12,000 girls so it’s a lot but I love it and until there comes a day where I don’t feel like this is serving a purpose anymore which I don’t see happening any time soon if ever

I think the comments are showing that. I think that we’ve had comments the entire episode and I think that shows how needed this is. So, I applaud you for seeing that need and finding a way to help. Especially in this pandemic age that we’ve been in for the past 14 months you know we need that outlet and you have provided that so I totally applaud that

Thank you. That means a lot, that really does mean a lot because it’s like I said when I started it, I really had no idea the direction that it would turn and now even though we’re only you know this baby’s a month old pretty much I just, I could imagine any other purpose. We all we all have something we never needed but now we can’t live without it. So

Yeah, well I’m so glad that you were on the show with me

I’m so glad you asked!
I’m going to do one final question for you and I told you about this over the phone and I didn’t tell you what it was.

Yeah, what is it?

Yeah, this is my final question that I always ask every guest and it puts them on the spot.

Okay

What is the number one thing that you love about yourself?

My heart.

Oh, I love that. Could you elaborate?

Well, I just I always want to give. Like I’m i have like I’m like one of the most loyal people you’ll ever meet you know and I love my heart because its constantly growing like just when you feel like it can’t grow anymore it grows more. So, I just I love that about myself because I know that and I know that I can help so many people. Just yeah so. So yeah, I love my heart.

Well, I love your heart too and I’m so glad that you agreed to come on here I know it was so last minute

Yeah, any time!

I am just so glad that you were here and definitely I would love to have you on again Especially when the nonprofit happens let’s bring you back on and talk about it. Let’s put it out there for the world.

Yeah

I am down with that.

Yeah, definitely well thank you and let me know because I would love to take you up on your offer

Of course, of course! I will probably to either later on tonight or tomorrow morning I’ll send you the link to the group and you can check it out.

Okay I would love that!

Okay!

Thank you for having me!

Of course! Next week I’m going to be joined by another Facebook group owner here in Colorado Springs, again we’re going to be discussing that importance of having that community to support each other we’re going to continue this conversation because I think to have ladies so definitely make sure that you have subscribed to this page that way you can be a part of conversation we have. Again, Jenny Lee thank you so much!

Thank you!

I love you

I love you thanks for having, this is really fun.

Of course

Thanks girl

Bye guys! Have a good night!

Thank you. Yay!!!

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