We all go through phases of not really knowing who we are. Not knowing what we want out of life, or even what we deserve out of life. We find our selves just kinda floating…waiting for life to happen. I’ve been there….it didn’t work out well. So here are a few tips that helped me to find and understand myself, maybe they can help you too!
A few years ago I spent a lot of time using a journal. This wasn’t your typical Dear Diary moment, although there were plenty of those. This was more of a free writing thing. It started with some basic journal prompts that I came up with. Questions that I would ask myself. I would pick one of those questions, or sometimes a couple more, then just write. I would also write letters. I wrote letters to myself, letters to people I knew (that I never mailed of course), letters to God. Anything to purge out everything that I was thinking and feeling. I just wanted to get it out. And it helped…it was cathartic. I also wrote poetry, I played with song lyrics, I purged my soul.
Invest In Yourself…
Now, this can be a lot easier said than done. But, it doesn’t have to be hard. There are so many ways to invest in your self. This is basically the self care portion of this post.
If you are anything like me, you hear the word exercise and cringe. I hate exercise. But this can be something as simple as walking the dog. If you are not in the habit of exercising, START SLOW! Make sure that what you are doing is medically approved. There are some great programs out there. Zumba is amazing, and honestly if you do it with the right people, it can be a lot of fun.
Buy yourself a new outfit. I’m not saying go out and break the bank, but there is something to be said for going shopping. Be selective about who you go shopping with though. Personally, I don’t like to go shopping with too many of my thinner friends. Now, I’m not saying that they don’t have good taste or aren’t wonderful people, that isn’t the case at all. But, what looks good on them is not going to look good on my and vice versa. I like to go shopping with people who understand my struggle with clothing and how it fits me. But that is me personally. Just make sure that you are shopping with someone that is going to help you, not hinder you.
Do something for you. I don’t care if it’s a massage, and pedicure, whatever. Just make sure it is a moment for you, about you, where you can relax. It is during these moments when we can release some of our stress, and just be.
Talk To Others…
This is so very important. I don’t care if it’s your pastor, your best friend, a licensed therapist, or a stranger over Facebook. Talk. Talk about your past, talk about your future, talk about your fears, your struggles, your hopes and dreams. If you only keep it inside, it stays there and festers. Once you vocalize goals, it’s easier to start achieving them. Once your speak about your fears, it’s easier to overcome them.
Each one of us is different, and different things work for different people. These are just a few things that have helped me. Join the conversation. What has helped you to find out who you are? What advise would you give to someone who is struggling with where they are?