We all have them. Those people that no matter what happens it’s never enough. The ones that drag us down…and make us feel like we don’t deserve anything good. It may be a friend, a partner, or even a family member. Toxic people are real, and we are all affected by them.
The Urban Dictionary defines toxic people as “…basically an individual (or individuals) who has a very negative and self-entitlement disorder outlook in life…”. These people usually think only of themselves, and will do just about anything to make themselves feel better, even if it means tearing you down. They don’t care about you…they care about how you make them feel.
The Toxic Friend
These are the friends that always include you in something, usually that will not benefit you, so that they look like the champion. It could be shopping for clothes at a store that they know will not have your size. Or making comments like “It doesn’t make you look that fat” (I have actually been told this). These are the friends that only feel good about themselves when you feel bad.
The Toxic Partner
These are the partners that want you to feel small and worthless. I have unfortunately been in one of these relationships. I was abused, both emotionally and physically, and made to feel like I didn’t deserve any better. That I was lucky to be with this person. And the worst part about it was the fact that I never saw it coming. He started out great, treating me wonderfully. Every once in a while comments would get made, but I always attributed it to him being tired or whatever. Then it progressively got worse. But I never saw it for what it was. Looking back now I can see the pattern, but I didn’t see it at the time. And that’s normally how it happens. I was lucky enough to catch on…not all women are that lucky.
The Toxic Family Member
These family members are very similar to toxic friends. They are the ones at family functions that comment on your weight very publically, or point out any flaws that they can find and dwell on it. They make you out to be the black sheep. By the time you leave, you wish you had never came. You feel so much worse about yourself than when you arrived.
How To Handle The Toxins…
Just like handling toxic chemicals, you have to protect yourself when dealing with toxic people. When you deal with toxic chemicals, you wear protective gear; the goggles, gloves, the hazmat suit. When you are dealing with toxic people you need to protect yourself the same way. You need to protect yourself mentally, emotionally, and sometimes physically. This may mean addressing the person in a public setting, it may mean having someone else there for support, and unfortunately sometimes it may mean involving the law.
You deserve the best. You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are a queen. And above all else, you are loved!